I worry more than I should about the devilish terrors that engross us; unidentifiable, invisible demons whose pure existence is to scare the living shit out of the human person. There is nothing physical about them, they’re purely false, imagined by the unlucky among us who’s actual life is more terrifying than some of the most disturbing nightmares - those at the highest level of blessing are the ones that manage to top themselves before the demons have a chance to properly manifest themselves into their minds, and in doing so, are safe from a world of pain.
Think shadows in a dark room, oppressive forces, violence and rape, loathing and guilt; The fear of an uncontrollable rage deep inside yourself that could break free at any given time or moment and hurt the people that mean the most to you in the most grotesque ways, and you, watching this happen as if in third person have no way of stopping it. Instead, you feel the energies keeping you sane (which have been tense for so long) snap, and with them go the emotions and passions that distinguish a person from an animal; empathy, regret and ambition. In that moment the man becomes the beast or even lower, and any dreams, hopes of peace, family or laughter are gone. This is a constant worry for me, and as it should be, for any sane man, because there is nothing more terrifying than the horrors created within the confines of one’s own mind.
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